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RATING - PG. Hey I thought even Bambi (the one with 4 legs, not 6) should have been PG. Plus, this one has one teensy, weensy swear.
CATEGORY - V(ignette), R(omance)
SPOILERS - Pilot
KEYWORDS - Mulder/Scully romance
Mulder asks Scully for advice about his love-life.
I suppose the standard one applies. No one and nothing belongs to me, except maybe the little box. Everything belongs to CC, or 1013, or the actors, or whoever else owns them.
Okay, this is my first attempt at posting fanfic. Understandably I'm suitably nervous. I can't believe I finally got the nerve to do this. I've had this and a few others lounging around my hard drive awaiting completion for a while. I really hope you enjoy it.
On to the important issues. Please give feedback. Anything. Even just to tell me you read it. Or to tell me if I should write more, or if I should take more english classes, or if I can be nominated for prose-laureate(is there such a thing?), or if I'm doomed, anything. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org
Ok. Long enough intro. On with the show, and all that...
I sat back in my chair, stunned. Me... It was me all the time? I swallowed, trying to collect my thoughts as I tried to formulate an answer. Some of my nervousness left me as I realized I had only one answer. I smiled as I looked him in the eye.
15 minutes earlier
I could feel his glance upon me. It had started out at every ten minutes or so. Then the interval had shortened, until now I could practically feel his eyes boring into me. I looked up from the reports I was typing, raising my eyebrow in question.
I smiled when he blushed. He looked so adorable when he blushed. It almost made him seem like a kid caught with his hands in the candy jar.
"Mmhmm?" I smiled some more at his nervousness.
"I wanted to ask your advice about something."
"What about?" I watched as he took a deep breath, as if steeling himself for what he was about to ask.
"I've met someone..."
My smile faltered for a moment before I managed to plaster it back on. I was sure he hadn't noticed.
"Yeah." He smiled a little as he looked at me. He paused for a moment, almost as if he were trying to gauge my reaction.
I congratulated myself on my outward calm even as I felt my heart thumping. I knew he'd been going out a lot the past couple of weeks. Mostly tall, busty brunettes. Just his type. I hadn't wanted to face my reaction to this, but, damn him, I was jealous. At first, I hadn't even recognized it for what it was. But, just this morning, I saw him come into the office with such a satisfied smile on his face. He'd slept well last night...and I didn't think I could bear to consider the possible reasons for that.
"I think I've found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with."
My eyes widened slightly as my racing heart suddenly went into overdrive. I briefly wondered who it could be. Lisa from VCS, maybe. I knew she'd been one of his dates. She even put most of his videos to shame.
"What did you want my advice about, Mulder?" I couldn't believe I managed to croak that out. What was he telling me this for anyway?
"Well, you see, this person..." he began, a little awkwardly. He let out a sigh as he turned to face the wall directly to my side. "She's everything I've ever wanted, and more, Scully. She's sensitive, caring, comforting. She makes me feel like I don't have to be so lonely anymore. I'm so tired of being alone, Scully." He turned to pin his gaze upon me again. "I think it was love at first sight, although I didn't recognize it for what it was then. It was only after I saw her some more that I realized what she really meant to me."
My heart finally couldn't take it anymore. I could almost hear the cracking. What about me, Mulder? What about what I mean to you? I care about you too. When had I started feeling this way about him? I know I didn't love him when I'd first entered this office almost four years ago. He'd just sat there with that smug smirk on his face, making me jump through hoops to prove myself to him. Or did I...? I had never bared myself that way to anyone before, not like that night in the hotel room, in candlelight, asking him to look at the marks. I shuddered silently at the realization...yes, I did...even then.
I kept up the stoic expression, my eyebrow still raised in a silent question. I was amazed to feel the blood pounding in my head. I didn't think that was possible with a broken heart.
"The thing is, I haven't told her how I feel about her. And I'm not sure how to. I'm afraid that if I...that she'll reject me. I don't think I could handle that. I'm not sure she's ready, or even willing, for a commitment with me. I..." He sighed again and leaned back in his chair. He lowered his gaze, looking down at his hands as he whispered, "I just don't know what to do."
I'm not sure who felt more miserable at that moment. Poor Mulder, he looked almost as bad as I felt. I steeled my heart...I gave a silent snort at the stupid thought. As if encasing my heart in steel would somehow heal the widening crack in it. But I had to do this...for him. He deserved happiness...lord knows he'd been denied it for the better part of his life. And if it wasn't with me, well, then that was the way it would be. Never let it be said that Dana Katherine Scully stood in the way of someone else's happiness.
"Mulder..." I couldn't continue without taking in a couple more breaths to steady myself. I will be strong, I told myself, I will not let this get to me. "From what you've told me, it sounds like she's perfect for you. It may seem like a risk to tell her, but think of it this way. Can you stand not knowing? What if she feels the same way about you, but leaves you because you won't take the first step?" I stopped at the look of shock on his face. Clearly he hadn't thought of this angle. "Mulder, everyone needs assurance that things will work out. In fact, I'm surprised that whoever she is, she's put up with you this long. And here, I thought I was the only one crazy enough to do that." I tried to make that last statement as humorous as I could, but I wasn't sure he didn't notice the slight catch as I said it.
So I was surprised when he leaned back, a grin replacing the shocked expression I'd seen earlier.
"So what's your expert advice, Agent Scully?"
"I think you should tell her how you feel. If she's all you said she is, I'm more than confident she returns your feelings." I trailed off as I watched him stand up and walk over.
"I don't know, Scully. I mean...," he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small jewelry box.
Even the steel armor surrounding my heart suddenly started to break down. He was that serious about his mystery woman? How had I not noticed? I tore my eyes away from his hands to face him as he continued.
"You know I've been going out more than usual, the past couple of weeks."
Both of us shared a smile at that...more than usual indeed. He'd gone out with more women in the past week than he had in all the time that I knew him.
"Well, all of them seemed...I don't know...trivial somehow, compared to her. I thought maybe what I felt for her was just plain lust. I wanted to be sure. But after those dates," he chuckled, "heck, even during those dates, all I could think about was her, being with her. I couldn't get her out of my mind."
My eyes widened at his confession. Whoever she was, she'd certainly gotten to Fox Mulder but good. If he felt this strongly, well...
"Tell her, Mulder." I hoped he wouldn't hear the sorrow in my voice, which dropped to a whisper as I repeated, "Tell her."
"Are you sure, Scully? I don't want to make the biggest mistake of my life."
Oh god, Mulder. Please stop. Can't you see you're torturing me? But he completely disregarded my silent pleading, instead waiting for my spoken reply.
"I'm sure, Mulder. Go, tell her. Ask her."
I was more than surprised when he just moved forward some more. I was used to him invading my personal space, but this was different. I didn't think I could handle this, not now. But I watched, breathless, as he came closer. Don't you dare thank me for my advice, Mulder. I don't think I could hold my tears back if you did. As it was, I was amazed they hadn't already fallen.
He perched himself on the desk and leaned forward, his face just inches from mine, a smile on his perfect face. I was hypnotized by that smile, so much so that I almost didn't hear his whispered question.
"So what do you say, Scully? Will you marry me?"
What? Intro notes, and now end notes? :)
Seriously, I would love feedback. So, how many of you realized what the first part was about before reading the flashback? Half the people I showed this to had no clue, the other half guessed. Sorta. See, I only showed it to 2 people :) Excellent statistics, no? Also, were the classification and summary justified, or did they totally give the story away?
BTW, I have absolutely no idea why I did this in 1st person. None of my other stories are. I think it may have had something to do with said person demanding within my head to be the storyteller. Did the style work at all?
So, comments, criticisms, questions, answers, solutions, formulae, hellos, anything, please. Send feedback to email@example.com
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